Pregnancy is definitely an example of blessings that bear their fruit at the end and requires some enduring. We are all
very excited for a new little one and feel the excitement as Daddy and the little ones daily pray that the baby will be safe and grow well in our prayers. It just takes its toll on this old body.
For instance, I begin at the pregnancy with a list of potential foods to satisfy the nausea. By this time, around three months, I have about exhausted what I can tolerate and am down to oatmeal, cranberry juice, and nuts. Now, this doesn't mean I don't
try things out of a desire to reclaim the delights of pleasures past (just picture "Ratatouille" and lots of delightful explosions going off in my body when I eat food). Just the other night, we made homemade *cream puffs and pudding--an old family favorite--and I enjoyed a few bites before my body decidedly protested. Shucks.
So far, milk, white flour in any variety, most sugars, cold cereal, most meat, sandwiches, and any non-whole grain product simply are not options. While Thanksgiving may not be as enjoyable as usual, I am banking on enjoying some traditional Christmas treats.
The baby is worth it :).
Another fact of pregnancy with my older body is that by 6 or 7 pm, I am simply done. My eyes get glazed and my body automatically finds the most comfortable resting position it can (ideally on a bed, but sometimes on the cold, hard floor) and I start to go to sleep. Poor kids! One night Lek asked me if I could help him review his debate argument that he had been working on diligently for weeks..."tonight." Oh, dear.
I tried. I really did. After falling asleep during scriptures and family reading, I awoke long enough to reassure him I would give him the best I had to give. I then headed to bed. He smiled teasingly at me and said, "Really?"
I loftily informed him that I
must be comfortable and would stay awake as long as I could but the
only way he was going to get his mother that night was while she was laying down in bed. :) He is such a sweetie. We actually got through quite a bit, if not all of it.
I do wish I had more to give that time of "night," but really any time the word "night" comes into the picture, I am pretty much out of the picture :). I remember fondly the days when my brain worked, when I wasn't focused so "inward" as my mom puts it, and the days when I could push this tired frame to crazy hours of the night.
Now I enjoy the days of napping with my little ones, daydreaming with no aim, and just give in when my body says: "you are done." I don't really enjoy the nausea, lack of coherent trains of thought, and lack of dependability, but I know this, too, will pass and at the end will be the sweetest reward life has to offer.
We are singing a song in our church ward choir that captures my feelings whenever I welcome a new little one...and really so often as I watch my older ones grow and get ready to leave:
"One small babe in a manger lay
with heavens light all around
all the earth is wholly made
with baby Jesus' found...
Mother Mary watched him sleep
Tonight he was her own
Soon he'd leave her loving arms
And with his life atone."
I feel the weight and glory of each new child as I hold them in my arms. I feel my own imperfections and am faced with them daily. Doubts of my ability is the only thing that hinders my eagerness to welcome more children into the world through our family. I realized long ago that I really am not as qualified as I "should be" to raise children. I know this realization hit me hard with my third child, when all of a sudden I didn't even have enough hands to keep them from danger.
While I have felt the marvelous power of God and the amazing capacity of my husband and other mentors for my children along the way compensate for my inadequacies, at the end of the day, I do feel the weight and need of each of my children. I cherish the times we have together and know that soon they will leave and spend their lives in some work of their choosing. Each one will go out and make a difference for good or for ill. For now, I enjoy each phase, loving that I can see so many different stages of development, discovery and sometimes I just want to say: "Everyone PAUSE!! Just stay where you are! I
love these phases!"
For now, I just need to get enough sleep and know that after many tomorrows I will get my body and mind back :).
Speaking of discovery, we host a biology class for Avot and Lek at our house every Friday and often have microscopes out. The younger kids will occasionally take a peek, but this was the first time Spooner tried it. It took him a few times to realize he was supposed to look through the lenses and not
taste them, but he figured it out :).
Recipes from our treat the other night:
*
Cream Puffs
1/2 cup butter
1 cup water
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup flour
4 eggs
Bring first three ingredients to a boil. Remove pan from heat and mix in flour immediately and quickly. Add eggs one at a time, beating quickly.
Grease a cookie sheet. Drop by large spoonfuls on pan. Cook at 400 degrees F for 25 min, or until golden brown.
Homemade Vanilla Pudding
-
1/3 cup sugar
-
2 tablespoons cornstarch
-
1/8 teaspoon salt
-
2 cups milk
-
2 large egg yolks, slightly beaten
-
2 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened
-
2 teaspoons vanilla
Directions
- In
2-quart saucepan, mix sugar, cornstarch and salt. Gradually stir in
milk. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens
and boils. Boil and stir 1 minute.
-
Gradually
stir at least half of the hot mixture into egg yolks, then stir back
into hot mixture in saucepan. Boil and stir 1 minute; remove from heat.
Stir in butter and vanilla.
-
Pour pudding into dessert dishes. Cover and refrigerate about 1 hour or until chilled. Store covered in refrigerator.
These are family favorites from the Buchanan side. My dad's family had a farm with extra eggs and milk so this was one of their family treats he enjoyed.
We also were lucky to be able to go to Idaho to the missionary farewell of one of our favorite people--Ben Richardson! We love cousin time :).
