Bumble Bees and Dancing

 This morning was kind of crazy:

-Papaya had crashed and burned pretty severely on her bike yesterday and was up much of the night in pain, so she got to sleep in and Hava had to go to school solo today. (Chugger-dude is on his off "B" day.)

-Liliputian, Chugger-dude and Pipalicious had their once weekly early morning seminary Zoom meeting where they learned a sign-language song and how to navigate the Canvas classroom.  Actually, they shared their screen per the teacher's request and showed how to use it, but I think all the other students knew how to do it. It was a great review.  

-They did that from 6:30-7:30, I got Hava off right before they finished up so she could catch her bus, and fed little ones around a sparsely settled table.  (Breakfast is less and less the family affair it was before this year started.)

-Pipalicious, Chugger-dude and the Goob did parkour outside for over an hour and came back worn out and sweaty.  Liliputian worked on classes while Papaya tried to suffer through her painful knees.

-The four oldest met online with Lek in Hungary while they opened a letter from Avot...all while the little ones tried to "video" bomb with their new Primary General Conference packets they just got from their leaders.

-Zuli, Spooner, Zsa-man and I practiced our "Bumble Bee" and "Butterfly" songs using our new costumes while the other kiddos watched CNN10 in the same room...a little crazy, but hey!  That's what we do.  Then the little ones and I cleared out because it was dance time with cousin Suvi, Chugger-dude, Pipalicious and the Goob. They moved the furniture back, cleared the floor and the little ones and I played in the cool outdoors, swinging, riding on bikes and blowing bubbles. I read a few pages about "attachment" from a book recommended by my therapist in between trying to help my children "not have contention," lol. 

The kids kept saying it smelled like "snow" outside...must be the fall odor.  Love it!

-Q-dawg and I had a conference call at 11 so we stuck the kiddos in front of "Magic School Bus" while Chugger-dude and Pipalicious did school work and Liliputian and the Goob giggled and chuckled over online videos in the background.  It went smoothly until Zuli went on the prowl in the kitchen looking for food, but given a few granola bars, she was soon content.  The floor was a disaster but we had a few more moments of quiet to finish our call.

-We grabbed a quick lunch, "just" the two of us, and then Q-dawg was off to work again (his schedule right now is crazy).  Now I am here documenting our life while all the older ones default to their school work and the little ones are doing their adorable little kid thing.  

Sometimes in the future it is nice to look back and see these moments which seem so mundane and ordinary at the time.

A fragrant little butterfly just wandered by.  Some moments are better captured without accompanying odors.

Our Dollar-Store Trip

 The Dollar Store is an amazing place.  I went there with the three youngest to pick up some "potty" prizes for Zsa-man. (Back story: Zsa-man was getting super stressed about going potty, having accidents and getting in trouble so he was lying, hiding his underwear and having massive accidents at night to the point he was saturating his jumbo sized pull-ups.  To take away from the anxiety, I told him that he would be in charge of his going potty--I wouldn't remind him, encourage him or even talk about it...it was getting that bad.  Well, he relaxed.  He started wearing pull-ups all the time and would just opt to use the pull-up instead of the toilet all throughout the day.  Sigh...story continues...)  I have a system now where every time he goes he gets a sticker on the chart.  He has to be watched and have someone sign it (because we are also working on honesty issues :S.  Once he gets five stickers, he gets a prize from his box.

And the box needed refilling.

So there we were, at the store, excited to pick out prizes.  Spooner had brought along his hard-earned "allowance" and Zuli was just excited to be there.   As we rounded the first corner, we found inspiration!  Along the display were Halloween costumes and we found little bumblebee ones and butterfly/fairy wings.  Those are going to go perfectly with some little preschool songs we are learning to perform for grandparents so into the cart we went!

We quickly found the prizes, Spooner found his booty, and Zuli picked up a couple things earned with cuteness factor and we made our way to the front.  A man chuckled and said, "Wow...you sure have your hands full."  Eight months pregnant with three kids 7 and under may seem that way, but it caught me off guard.

No one was screaming.

They weren't fighting.

They were staying by the cart.

They were even quiet.

They kept their masks on.

They were content with what they had.

I smiled to myself and agreed with the gentleman as I inwardly expressed gratitude that this wasn't like the thousands of other store experiences when I really did have my hands full and beyond capacity. I still remember resignedly making my way through a huge Macey's line in Utah with two carts full of groceries from case-lot sale and a wailing under-two year old, whose shrieks were reverberating off of the ceiling. I had been trying to appease/calm her and it was fruitless and became an "endure to the end" experience.  The cashiers were patient.  I got a minimal number of slightly impatient looks and several looks of condolence. I even got one compliment after I had made my way with my two full carts and still screaming child out to the car. 

Nope...this shopping trip went off like a breeze.

We made it through the line, Spooner doing the classic "little kid getting his money out of his cute little money jar" thing.  We got to the front entrance and I realized that I had a shoeless five year old, stuff to carry, and a cart to return.  Zsa-man crawled up on my back, Spooner manfully took the box of goods for me and Zuli was demonstrating an extraordinary amount of obedience in staying close. Perhaps holding her new "birthday bouncy ball" helped, but whatever it was...we made it!

Patience to count to one

 The Goob stopped by for a minute and I showed him some cool things I had just read and invited him to read.  Zuli came up to him and said, "Drew!  Come dance with me!"  Drew chuckled and said, "Just a minute, okay? I am going to read this and then I will dance with you."

"Okay, I will wait for you!" little Zuli exclaimed happily.

"I love how patient she can be," I remarked.

"I will count to one!" Zuli followed up.

Ummmmm.....retracting previous comment about patience.

"How about you count to one thirty times?" the Goob practically suggested.

"Okay!" 

Zuli started counting.

"Yo-yos," creating, and violent FHE games

 I purchased some walkie-talkies for the little ones. The older kids had some and the little ones loved to borrow them, although it did stress the older ones out a little.  So I looked on my trusty Amazon site and found a set of three for a decent price and ordered them. I was debating whether or not to save them for Christmas or not but decided to pull them out yesterday.  What fun!

Zuli loves her "yo-yo" as she calls it.  The boys also are a little obsessed and it works wonders to get them to do things by saying "you can play with your walkie-talkies after you finish...."  It is super cute that they are made so a little two year old can handle it, although she often misses the timing of when to start and stop talking :D.

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Chugger-dude had his first day when he actually had to push himself to keep up.  Of course, that is probably also because he inserted a two hour trip to the cemetery with the kids with Lily when they were first trying out their walkie-talkies.  He likes to take his day at a mellow pace and it caught up with him by the end of the day, after fitting in cross country practice, football scrimmage with a local pick-up group and then finishing his jobs and geometry homework around 10 pm.  It has been fun to see the kids being externally mentored thrive in this different environment, although Chugger-dude did say that if it wasn't for the sports, he would rather work at home because it seemed to be more challenging and do more for him.  We are teaching Biology, reading classics and doing supplemental math at home in addition to his high school classes since the school wouldn't allow us to put him in the classes he was ready for and had some remedial substitution.  Okay, not remedial, but still...Chugger-dude could really measure up to the challenge.  For English they are reading "Hunger Games" this semester.  I had him read "The Chosen" and "A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch" (sp?) this month.  I am content, though.  We can use the system when we need it and I own that I am his primary mentor and he is primarily in charge of his education so we need not be limited to it. :D

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Liliputian has decided to take a turn at sewing and so we purchased a bunch of fabric and just need to carve out time when the fabric can rest unmolested on the kitchen table long enough to be cut out, lol.  For some reason that has felt really hard to do, lately!  She bought a pattern for a dress and I think she will look smashing in it.  It may end up that it doesn't get much done on it until Oma comes to visit when the baby is born in a month, but we are determined to give it a good headstart. :D

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Piper bounced around the house with boundless energy last night, engaging in one intense interaction after another with her more mellow siblings :D.  Fortunately she was able to use some up doing an intense job on her "dinner help" of straightening up the front room and mud room. I love when she does that, although I feel a little like I am taking advantage of it.  She insists that it is therapeutic for her and I enjoy the super-clean result but she does go a little into overdrive when she is in that mood.

Yesterday I was able to be her "secretary"/typist for an interview of a local official for a school class.  She selected some kind of village clerk and it was fun to learn more from a less-prominent public figure.  It was also funny since the lady wasn't serving in an elected role so she probably hadn't thought much about some of the questions Piper threw at her like the role of government and some philosophical reactions to words by the Founding Fathers.  The lady was super nice and it was fun to overhear the interaction on speaker phone as I typed up the lady's responses.  

Piper also made a killer shrimp avocado salad much to many people's dismay but those of us with more mature tastes were super happy.  It has been fun to have her and Lily try new recipes each week.  Lily is treating us to a crispy herb chicken and crockpot mashed potatoes tonight....yum!

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Papaya and Hava have fun riding the bus or walking to and from school with Chugger-dude every day and I have enjoyed being able to take time to do their hair in french braids or otherwise every day. It has been a good time for us to connect. It has been harder to do our family reading times with all the coming and going and online classes but we manage to squeeze it in two to three times a week.  It helps to have one of our readings from a fantasy novel that they are excited to hear how it ends :D.

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Last night, Zsa-man got to pick the game for FHE and we played "Mr. Boogety", a game where you turn out all the lights at night so it is super dark; someone goes out and hides; and then we all go and try and find them. If someone finds them, you call out "Mr Boogety!" and run for the base before the person who is "it" tags you. It can get pretty intense with our small house and narrow stairway, but it still remains a favorite.  We can't really play it during the summer since it gets dark so late, but we are in the seasons where it works so we play it about every other week for FHE.  Fortunately we also squeeze in some "Farmer in the Dell," "Big Booty" and "Fruit Basket" although that last one has become markedly less enjoyable during this latter stage of my pregnancy.  Getting up and down quickly is not one of my strong-points, needless to say :D.  Okay, sitting is also uncomfortable after a while.  As is standing.  And laying down.  Alright...just super excited to have my body back with a cute little crying snuggler for us all to enjoy :D.  The other day as we were at the doctor's office for Chugger-dude, I overheard a new infant cry and my heart just seemed to gush open with anticipation.  I just love these little ones so much!!

Back to Mr. Boogety, Zsa-man had a fun time outlining some specific rules since he was "in charge" (we are all pretty good over here at assuming command):

-no pushing little kids down the stairs

-no jumping out and scaring little kids 

-leave the upstairs bathroom light on

Good rules, although we expanded the "no pushing little kids down the stairs" to include everyone, since that seemed something like a no brainer ;).

Stepping back for a look at everyone

 It has been a while since I did an update on the whole fam...feels time to do it again...

Avot

Tova has moved down to the Houston area of Texas to become an au pair for a sweet little family with a 10 year old and twin 6 year olds...all boys!  She shares some delightful experiences with them that really show her natural gift for making things fun and being flexible :D.  We miss her but are happy that she is in a place where she feels independent, is finding a place for herself as she saves up for schooling and lives only minutes from her sweet boyfriend ;).    We are looking forward to her flying home to be with us for a week when the baby is born next month...everything is more fun and yummier when Tova is around!

Recently, she has shifted her approach to running and has inspired many of the rest of us: run as fast as you want (don't worry about consistency and the much dreaded jogging), take breaks when you feel like it, and just do it!  She did 6 miles the first time and discovered that she actually liked it!  She also found a bookstore (bless her heart!) and picked up some gems for us as well as for her personal library.  Love it!

Lek and Réka

Doing school, figuring out living on their own and having a baby are definitely keeping them busy.  Réka just aced a math test which makes it so she doesn't have to participate in a math class that she was dreading and is starting her schooling as a teacher remotely, which will fit in well after their little boy is born next month.  Kel is now doing BYU-I after finishing up Pathways and is doing very well.  Between that, working full-time at a print shop (a very tender mercy for an American in Hungary!), and being a husband and future father, he keeps busy!  He is also possibly joining a local basketball league for fun while Réka happily organizes baby items from the shower and generosity of local friends and members.  They are darling together, even if they do like to tease each other ;).

We are hosting a 30-day international shower for them so they get to open a new present every day and connect with someone from America that loves and supports them, family and friends.  It has been fun to try and be as involved as I can with all the international travel restrictions in place. I am almost finished putting together a Christmas package to send with lots of fun little items personalized for their interests.  I can't wait for the ban to be lifted so we can actually visit in person, but in the meanwhile I am so grateful for online communication!!

The Goob

Can't say how much this boy makes my world light up!  He has been bouncing around both inside his skin and outside for a while now and always keeps me guessing with what he is studying, planning or doing.  It has been so fun for me to see him discover more about himself--his strengths, his struggles, and where he needs to heal and grow.  One thing I can always count on is a giant hug and kiss when he shows up and before he leaves and generally several more for good measure in between.  That boy just radiates sunshine and life, even when he is struggling. 

He got his fun haircut the other day, we enjoyed lunch together, he joined us for our homeschool "game day" on Friday for a few hours before going home with a splitting ear ache, and just lights up the whole family when he bounces in for a minute or an hour.  One of my favorite moments the other day was when Zsa-man talked him into staying longer than planned so they could play a game together.  At one point, Drew apologized for something or other.  Zsa-man moved over and leaned his little elbow on Drew's leg and looked up into his eyes.  "That's okay," Eli happily sighed, "You're my brother."  I am soooo grateful that they can feel that connection 14 years apart.  It was a beautiful moment.

Drew enjoys playing with a local football league and has invited Hyrum to join.  He also works out with the older ones and Dad, does parkour with Hyrum two to three days a week, and plays an online game with Hyrum once a week--something they started back when they couldn't see each other.

Liliputian

Lily has started Pathways this year and is doing well so far!  She was nervous/excited but has handled it well...like she does everything.  She is the peacemaker, the gentle healing spirit, the balm in our home.  She puts Zuli to sleep more nights than not and loves having her in bed at night as her snuggle buddy, even though Zuli will often wake up with little needs during the night.  She also has been doing a champion job as president of her YW group during this whole COVID thing, trying to keep communication open and activities as often as possible.  I have really been impressed with her persistence and patience and love. Lily also was recently called as the Stake Youth Activities rep and has had fun with that so far.

Lily loves to try new things to cook, loves listening to her music, and is really dedicated to taking care of her body with nutrition and exercise.  I have also hired her to do the laundry for Q-dawg and I and the little ones: gathering, sorting, rotating, folding and putting away and it is totally worth it!  She enjoys doing it at night while watching her favorite episode of some new series and so I think it is win-win for the most part ;).  She and Piper are champion cleaners, with Hava a definite contributor, and I came home from breakfast with a friend to a sparkling (literally) house.  

She took little Spooner on a date the other day to the library and then to the chocolate store for some sponge candy, a local favorite.  She also gives me the best melting hugs--I can just melt into them and feel the love!  Lily has also been willing to play some games that normally drive her crazy, showing some flexibility ;).  Speaking of flexibility, she is also a champion back-bender and can almost do the splits...go Lily!

Chugger-dude

Hyrum is outside right now, working side by side with his dad, one of his favorite places to be.  That boy is so steady and constant, a joy to be with and a calm presence to enjoy.  He has been having fun getting into the swing of an A/B schedule with public school--he is an "A" day student so attends MW and alternating Fridays and then does online the other days.  After working hard, we got him a slightly more challenging schedule but this NYS system is a bear and so he has a few "cake" classes and has been keeping ahead so far.  Just the first week, but it is a good start.  He might do cross-country starting Monday and has already signed up for football (starts Mar 1)--his main reason for joining.  I think it is a good cultural experience and fun for them to see how much they already know.  Hava came home from school on Thursday and said, "Mom!  Thanks so much for all you have taught us about science!  I know all the terms they are teaching us already!"  I was kind of shocked and chuckled.  All these years of being sure that I wasn't teaching them enough.  I think I could count the number of "official" science classes with her on one hand. However, our environment is saturated with experimental frame of mind, science videos and conversations galore...as well as Quinn and my general love of all things science.  I guess this system really does work!

Hyrum has been training in parkour with Drew, working out different areas of his body with his dad and running with his friend Isaac.  It is fun to see the kids enjoy keeping fit.  He also loses himself frequently in tickling contests with the little ones and delights in getting a reaction :D.  So darling!

Pipalicious

Piper breezes about the home, helping fix and clean anything she comes across. She is a go-getter, champion foot rubber of my feet and aerial silk artist extraordinaire.  She is in the adult class for silks every Wednesday and it is so magical to see her dance in the silks in the air.  She has taken to cooking lately and cooks 2-3 times a week.  She will run to the park with the kiddos whenever I ask and has kept our flowers alive with her daily watering. Who knew?  Gardens need consistent watering to grow...go figure.  Our flower gardens look better than they ever have before.  Between that and taking out the garbages upstairs she "earns" her silk tuition and so it is another win-win.

Piper is thriving with her online Williamsburg classes: leadership, humanities and language arts and does Khan Academy, Biology and Art with me, and piano daily with once a week lessons.  Each kid is doing their own thing this year, pretty much, and it is fun to see how well they are thriving with outside mentoring.  Piper loves the discussions and materials of her classes, but is great at taking breaks to get a hug or go for a quick run.  She loves playing card games above most others, but is branching out more to games like "Pastiche,"  "Acquire" and "Splendor," much to my delight.

Hava and Papaya

Hava and Maia are loving their teachers and school here at the "middle school"--which covers grades 4-6 in our little town.  They are just far away so they get to ride the bus but have been opting to walk since the bus has been getting them there consistently late.  They wear their masks most of the day, but have mask breaks, and have still been able to make friends after one week.  They both have very different friendship-ping styles, with Hava waiting for people to reach out and Maia jumping in with both feet with everyone but they are both thriving.

Before school started, Hava was busily progressing through piano and had just started mastering the art of 5-paragraph essay writing.  Maia did gymnastics the last month of the summer and qualified to move up to the next level.  After careful prayer and consideration with her and both Quinn and I, we decided it would be best to stop for a while and let her progress with her kinesthetic talents on her own for a while.  She said that they wouldn't let her do much in class anyway, although I know she will miss it.  Perhaps in the next place we live there will be an opportunity for her to continue.

Hava loves to cook.  Maia loves to draw.  They are both avid readers on their own lever and have fun taking the littler kids to the park. I miss them when they are at school but I get great hugs and snuggles when they are home.  I am glad they get to feel the confidence of thriving in an environment with their peers.

Spooner and Eli

It has been so much fun to homeschool just the little ones!!  We have a little mug with popsicle sticks labeled with options of subjects like: math, art, cooking, field trip, exercises, etc.  They get to draw one out when they are done with playing on their own, which doesn't take long since they are having so much fun.  I have a list of corresponding ideas for the day to go with each category and it has been a lot of fun!  They are also both a little obsessed with their workbooks that I got them...even little Zuli loves to sit and "work" her workbook with lots of scribbles and arbitrary filling in of places.  Zsa-man insists that she is "doing it wrong" but I have finally got through to him that the book is just for her to have fun and so if she is having fun, she is doing it correctly...and same for him!  I am not good at creating conformists in some areas and making little kids learn a certain way is definitely one of them!  I have learned that eventually they learn how to make a "3" in the right direction and it is better to let them arrive at that more naturally than having them panic about every time they write down a "3," wondering if it is written the correct direction.  They learn to read, they learn to hold their pencils, they learn to identify numbers...all in good time with confidence and fun.

So "right" for school for little ones is when they are having fun ;).  Of course, if they ask for help or wonder, I tell them.  But that is them inviting correction.  I teach and correct them plenty when it comes to hygiene, treating others well, being responsible and telling the truth.  Those are the important lessons at this age.

The boys are both avid bike riders and have amazing confidence and proficiency, taking steep hills at a breath-taking pace...well, a pace that takes my breath away, anyway!  They both love swimming with their floatation devices, although Zsa-man tends to last longer than Spooner...probably due to body fat composition and Spooners complete lack of insulation.  They will go into the closet under the stairs for hours and play together with stuffed animals. Normally if it is a two-some they can last a long time without conflict.  However, if Papaya or Zuli come in the time is normally shortened significantly :D.

They are like hot and cold together: either they are playing well or trying to attack each other.  So different but so fun to have together to teach at the table, in the kitchen or while playing. I have quite enjoyed the focus!  Little ones are truly so uncomplicated.

Zuli

And now we come to the undisputed ruler of the household.  The little boys dote on her (when they are not frustrated by her mindless destruction mode).  The older kids all take time to get those extra snuggles, hugs or tickles whenever they walk past her.  Everyone likes to listen to her cute little articulate voice saying the darndest things...I am sure her ability to speak so clearly is closely tied with Lily's consistent and patient ongoing dialogues with her!  When she is not tired, she can be absolutely reasonable and patient.

That brings us to the main challenge with little Zuli right now: no naps.  She has not taken more than a handful of naps since June.  We do rest time, reading time, and/or snuggle time almost daily and that little body just doesn't succumb to sleep mid-day any more; which can make her a bear in the late afternoons and evenings, depending upon her sleep length the night before.  

Right now we are all getting up between 6:30 and 7 am to get the kids off to public school, so Zuli crashes around 6:30 or 7 pm if we let her or encourage her. Unfortunately, most nights we are still in wind-down mode so she ends up staying awake until 8 or 9 which really doesn't work for little napless bodies. It can lead to some very wonderful moments though, like last night.  She came up to me mid-dinner (around 6:30) and said, "I'm tired."  She crawled up into my almost non-existent lap, snuggled in, we grabbed a binki to cement the job and she was asleep after cuddling.  Ahhhh...heaven.  That is for sure my favorite way for her to go to sleep!  Well, that and when I lay down next to her in her bed and, after reading to her, she snuggles by me and throws her fat, short little arm over my neck and nuzzles in to sleep.  Babies are truly wondrous.

The Folks

I am officially now just one month away from delivery with all the fun and discomfort that come with that stage :D.  Getting on and off the couch (let alone out of bed for my multiple trips to the bathroom) is one of my greatest struggles.  Wait, maybe getting down onto the floor with the little ones for activities and then up again is probably harder.  Okay, so transitioning between positions is just hard :D.  I get lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions but know from past experience that I still get to wait until the finish line and beyond before we get to welcome this new little one in.

In the meanwhile, I am enjoying adapting to our new schedule, working on some attachment healing emotionally that I have been struggling with, choosing to see the joy in what is truly a blessed life despite how easily I seem to let darkness and sadness cloud my vision of all the joys. I am grateful for the healing power of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Parents, prayer, reading the Book of Mormon and my absolutely delightful immediate family who is so constantly a source of love and joy.

I have been learning more how to roll with things, enjoy the unanticipated and the unique unfolding of my children--from mohawks to public school to au pairing in Texas to moving to foreign countries to find beautiful wives and have my first grandchildren. I am grateful for the spectrum in the ages of my children. Having each child has been a conscious choice and I never would have anticipated the dynamics that we enjoy as they come together and tease and laugh together.

Like our fun discussion over messenger the other day about recorders, lol!  Réka has to learn to play one for her teaching certificate and Kel has decided to take on his father's stance against the potential beauty of a recorder, having never been able to get past "Hot Cross Buns" phase.  During the conversation, Drew found an absolutely deliberately horrendous rendition of "Stars and Stripes" or some such song accompanied by a recorder....which is my new ring-tone for him!  I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. 

I sent Réka a recording of my playing "Lead Kindly Light" on my recorder to let her know she was not alone in her faith that the recorder can be a beautiful instrument. ;)  We recorder players have got to stick together!

Q-dawg is crazy with work but takes time out to play sports, go out to ice cream and play games with us in the evenings.  We are a good mix for our kids and I am so grateful for Quinn's influence in helping them see the fun in life and the joy of relaxing about things that just aren't so important.  

They recently reorganized our Stake Presidency via online technology and he was invited along with several members of the Stake to be interviewed by the "visiting" authority.  Quinn came off the phone delightedly sure he would not be a part of the new organization and was completely chill about it.  I love that man.  He is so good at serving where he is called and being happy about it.  I was recently released as Seminary teacher and am enjoying the hiatus of just focusing on my kiddos and immediate ministering.

Speaking of the Stake, we had Stake Conference for our church yesterday and I dozed off, waking later to find Quinn and Hyrum wrestling on the couch and floor.  Apparently at one point Quinn unknowingly was actually choking Hyrum, who had a hard time breathing!  When asked, they were apparently just having a "misunderstanding" about where Quinn's arm was supposed to be ;).  As Kel pointed out later during our messenger call, spiritual times are the best times to wrestle. (He speaks from years of experience of wrestling with Quinn during family scripture time when the rest of us would press against the side of the room as the two of them would go at it mid-reading time :D.  Fun times!!)

My boys: Germs, Propositions and Haircuts

 I like to say prayers with my kiddos individually before they go to bed until they kind of "grow out of it" (and I still get goodnight hugs and kisses ;)...).  A few nights ago, our germaphobe (aka "German-phonebook") Spooner was diligently picking his nose with alternating hands when I knelt down and reached out for his hand.  He deliberately considered both hand and then extended the one that (I am assuming) was the "cleaner" of the two.  Before taking it, we had a little talk about how if he feels he can pick his nose, eat it and then still hold hands with me, he should be okay if his little brother accidentally sneezes near him or forgets to wash his own hands.  Now, I am all for cleanliness and hygiene and vigilantly encourage and require hand washing, sanitizing, etc.  However, Spooner's heightened sense of cleanliness has often led to anger and even violence against his siblings...which is just carrying it a bit too far.  It was a great time to turn the tables and hopefully open the door for a little compassion ;).

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Zsa-man had an interesting financial proposition to earn money for walkie-talkies the other day.  He came into where I was reading in my bedroom and demanded I get him a walkie-talkie.  Now.  I informed him that he could request it for Christmas or save up his 25 cents per day "allowance" for doing chores until he had enough.   Neither suggestion was acceptable.  He stormed out.

Moments later he came in with a "persuasive" look on his adorable, brown-eyed face.  "How much would you pay me to pull glass out of my foot?"  He was serious. 

"Ah, nothing." I said, shocked and amused.

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The Goob has been contemplating what to do next with his life...and his hair.  While I can't help him much on the life guidance other than support him in the healthiest way I can, I can help with hair!  When he said he was thinking of a mohawk, I thought I would just kind of leave him to it but then I came across an article in the New Era that had some pictures of what I thought was a good way to move forward (the article in the magazine has some better angles):

Quinn pointed out that the article mentioned:

His mom wouldn’t let him grow a mohawk until he had served a mission and gotten married.

I simply replied that the Goob and I are kind of past the point where I am "letting" him do anything ;).

So we found a hair dresser recommended by a friend and set up a hair appointment together!  Me for a trim and thin of my thick curly locks (it has been about a year) and him for...something new. :D

Before...

 After...

Love this boy!  Alright, man...but he'll always be my boy!

Bullies at the park

 The following post is not a fun one.  

At around 4 pm Eli came running into the house, out of breath. He started spouting something about Maia and Hava being attacked by mean kids at the park. I hurried out the door to find out what was happening. Eli showed the way.

Apparently, Maia had let a kid use her bike. Up to this point a bunch of kids had been swearing and getting mad at them and so, after letting him use her bike, Maia decided she wanted to go to the park. The kid on her bike wouldn't get off so she tried to force him off, which probably wasn't the best idea. He fell to the ground (not her intention, but a product of her action). Some kids started chasing her and Havala across the park, calling out intentions to hurt them. They ranged in age from 5-15. One of the girls grabbed Maia's shirt from behind and slapped her upside the back of her head really hard a few times. Other kids were hitting Hava with sticks (she still has a few gashes and welts on her body). Maia and Hava escaped and crossed the stream and hid in the woods. The kids started splitting up so they could find them and beat them up some more.

Piper had followed at first but then realized that Eli was at that point at the park by himself. Later we found out that they had grabbed his arm and twisted him. leaving a long red welt under his armpit. Piper rushed him home and then hurried to try and save the other girls. She outdistanced the lead bully and was horrified to feel that she couldn't find Maia in time and that she was getting hurt. She frantically started searching the woods across the creek.

Around that point, I came out and the "gang" started backing away from the river. I asked them what was going on and wanted to hear their side of the story. They were belligerent and threatening. Some of them listened (ones I had known before or genuinely gentler spirits) but some were very antagonistic. I asked after the boy who got hurt. He came up to me and was going to show me when some kid yelled about COVID-19 and how I had to stay away 6 feet or they would sue me. "Really??" I asked, incredulous of such a comment from kids continually circulating through the very public park and so many other kids. I didn't care that much about getting closer anyway, so just tried to calmly tell them I was just trying to find a peaceful way to resolve it. I finally gave up after calling after them that I wanted to talk to their parents. I figured nothing would bear fruit with the moods they were in so I just dropped it.

Then Maia and Hava and Piper reached me.

They were all sobbing.

That is when I found out that they had been hitting both Maia and Havala repeatedly. Not okay.

I charged across the field, demanding those kids come and talk to me. Fortunately, their mom came out too. I immediately told her that I was very sorry that her son had been hurt. That it was not okay and that I would talk to my daughter about it. But then I insisted that it was not okay for the other kids to start wailing on Maia and hitting kids in punishment. "Come and tell me if my kids are doing something wrong...I will listen." I insisted. The mom was fine after we spoke; she knows that I love her kids and just want the kids to be happy. The kids were still super belligerent, though, and as I gathered up my kiddos, thinking the worst was past, they started yelling threats against our house and if us we ever came out in our yard...or to the park.

This was very disturbing. I knew that talking to them was pointless. I went inside to get my little ones snuggled and reassured....they were still so upset!

We eventually called the police for advice on how to handle the situation, not to press charges. They were just kids but we want our yard and the park to be a safe place. While we waiting, Quinn had the girls identify the kids that had acted violently. I felt prompted to go out and bring my chair and books and sit and read calmly at the skate park. The kids had been hollaring from there as if it was their domain. Not okay. So I just sat there and read. I admit I had a bit of a tremor to my hands and it took a minute to stop them from shaking and really focus, but I got there. The kids seemed puzzled. One asked if I was reading the Bible. I calmly said that, no, I was just reading a book and held it out to show them.

When the policeman arrived, Quinn called me over to talk to him as well. The policeman said that this same group has been called in four times in under a month for violent situations such as this. The parents are confrontational when the police address them, apparently, and I already felt that "using" the police wouldn't help reolved it productively. He suggested just calling the minute anything looked like it might get out of hand.

I then went over and offered to tell the kids what the policeman had said. They shouted at me about COVID-19 and staying away, and I said, Fine, I will just speak with your parents....whom I suspected had been watching the whole thing from a black suburban across the parking lot that was pulling up.

I waddled up to the vehicle and asked calmly if they were the parents of any of the kids. Getting an affirmative, I then explained why we had called the police: that I thought we had resolved it with the injured boy's mother but then kids had been calling out threats against our family and home and I wasn't sure how to handle it...thus we called tthe officer for advice. We all agreed that kids are kids and we should just move on. I figured it was all that could be hoped for. I assured them that I want everyone's kids to be safe there and want their kids to please come to me if they are concerned with how my kids behave. It seemed peaceful and productive.

As I started to walk away, one of the women in the car started yelling at the kids at the park to be respectful to us in the future and make it a good place for kids to play. The overall situation felt like it was better than it had been and Quinn, Lily, Hyrum and I spent th rest of the evening nurturing and helping the kids feel protected. Piper journalled; Hava and I played "Splendor" twice, Maia had me do her hair in ringlet curlers, and we all snuggled and watched "This Beautiful Fantastic." I read to Xai (Eli had fallen asleep when Quinn read....he was super shaken by the whole thing). Liesl insisted on my laying by her to sleep, which isn't that unusual, but she seemed extra vulnerable tonight. After feeling a lot of empathy for the upset children, she kind of lost it at dinner and was weepy and emotional and irrational. Makes sense. She was sitting on Piper's lap while Piper sobbed, and Liesl was very intent on being there to help and empathize. There was a lot of sobbing, fears, heightened emotions and pain. And resolution.

A hard night.

I am not sure the plan moving forward is good: to have someone older there protecting them all the time. However, to just send them back alone just doesn't seem right without anyone there to look out for them when the "gang" was so deliberate, brutal and almost animalistic in their attack. My heart is breaking for my little ones. To be so focused on hurting kids like that with no real premature situation to start from is truly disturbing. Oh, my babies. Maia said it felt like they were in one of the slave books where the runaway slaves were being looked for. Hava said she always imagined running from people trying to hurt you would feel a little more exhilerating. She and Maia had been hiding and praying fervently to God that He would keep them from finding them. What a truly terrifying experience.